A stark reminder....

This past Saturday I headed to Kal-Haven for a base building ride. I am getting there, and I want to continue to build every week. Funny as it sounds, I am racing Sunday. So I want to have some semblance of fitness.

 The race you ask.....is the Frosted Fat Tired that got rescheduled due to poor weather. It is a 4 person relay race, and the course is short. So I should be ok. All of us intend to just have fun and are mainly going to hang out. This is what happens when the wheels come off for everyone. I had 2 surgeries this year, Lisa hasn't ridden much since LJ100, and Tom took a hiatus after Coast 2 Coast....so....it will be a fun day of riding with friends. Anything more will be a bonus. 

Last Saturday I drug myself out of bed and headed out. I really didn't feel like getting out of bed, it was just a long week. I did anyway, knowing people were going to be meeting me for a ride. I had some oatmeal and headed out. It was a fairly quiet drive to Kalamazoo. When I pulled into the lot I could see a lot of cars and people mulling around. The people I didn't see...were the ones I thought were coming riding. I didn't communicate very well through the week and made assumptions that people were coming, but alas.....this was to be a solo ride. As I was getting ready a large group of people were warming up and seemingly preparing for a run. Good to see people out and active.

Once I was geared up I started down the trail. Mind wandering but still somehow focused. Have you ever been driving and realized that you were sort of checked out for around 20 minutes....and you have no idea how you got where you are without inflicting some sort of damage? Yeah, kind of like that. I was just thankful to be out and pedaling. I was calling out my passes to the walkers or runners. Most would move, some would ignore, and others still would just not care that I was there. Overall the people were friendly. 

At one point around 7.5 miles in I could see a couple walking. What I didn't see was their dog off-leash about 50 yards ahead of them. I called out "on your left" and they moved over, immediately calling their dog. He whipped around and started hauling ass back towards them. I heard the owner yell "SIT!" and he stopped dead in his track and sat as I was passing him. Good boy! Still....kind of shocked to see a dog that far away from the owners. As I continued on I passed a lady and her dog coming towards me. She stopped and grabbed her k-9 by the collar. I realized that this pooch was off-leash as well. I do understand, but with people around it seems like these people should have had their dogs leashed up. Thankfully no mishaps. 

I continued on and realized that average speed was a bit higher than the previous week. Didn't feel like a tailwind, but more on that later. I continued on and reached the 10 mile mark, where I turned back on my previous ride. I was tempting fate a bit, and kept going out towards Gobles. Eventually the trees opened up and I arrived at the M-40 crossing. I was feeling pretty good overall. I also had calories in my bottle. This was my initial test of my Hammer nutrition to see how my new stomach would handle it. I was feeling just fine. At this point I was 13 miles in.

I started back towards Kalamazoo and was surprised to feel a headwind. It made sense when I looked at my average speed. I was much faster than the previous ride, and I went further. However, I didn't feel like I was pushing the pace. I just rode a comfortable speed and it was faster. That is good news. The headwind wasn't terrible, and I actually only felt it a few places where the trees would open up. I cannot express how thankful I am that it didn't last the entire way back to 10th street. 

You can see from the laps above the difference though. I definitely worked harder coming back than I did going out. The main reason for the slower speed is the small amount of climbing and the cumulative effects of the ride. My endurance is being stressed to get this distance, so holding any sort of speed is a good sign for me. 

I was about 5 miles from the end when I got a very stark reminder about things. Well, things were put into perspective and I had to fight off some thoughts. I had been passing people and calling out "on your left" for over 20 miles. Nobody had passed me to this point. But I heard a quiet "on your left" from an approaching rider. As he passed I nodded and noticed something. He was a big dude. I mean, I am a pretty hefty guy, and he was much bigger than me. Yet, he left me behind like it was nothing. I have respect for this dude, out here killing on on a Saturday afternoon. But....negative thoughts immediately started to creep in. 

They looked a lot like this:

damn, that guy is bigger than me and he just left me behind!

all this weight I have lost...and still getting smoked by bigger dudes....what will happen in a race against lighter guys? 

why....why do I continue to do this to myself if I am not getting any faster....

and so on....

But, those thoughts didn't last very long. The mental side is a part that I am working on just as much as the physical. So I was ready to combat those ill-advised thoughts. Yes I still had them, but I was able to fight them off. Instead I reminded myself that I am 7 weeks out from major surgery. That I have barely ridden in 2024. That I am doing good on this ride and to keep moving forward. That guy probably has been riding all year. I will reach my goal eventually, and then I will see where I stack up. Doesn't even matter where I stack up, my biggest fight will always be me versus me. I had to remind myself that I am doing what I can, and that this surgery wasn't a magic bullet that would make me drop 100 pounds overnight, I still have work to do. I am doing good, and just need to continue to do good. Put those negative thoughts down, and don't carry them anymore.....they only hold you down. 

I kept spinning and was keeping that big guy in sight for a bit. Eventually I didn't see him anymore, but it was a win to stay within viewing distance for a few miles. I reached the part of the ride that I dislike the most. Its a low grade hill that feels like it will never end. Legs start to beg for mercy and then you can see a stop sign that indicates the last crossing before the trailhead. but it is a long way off still, and you just have to grind away. Finally it eases up and is a nice roll to the finish. I hit my goal of 26 miles with no mishaps. No bonking, no chipmunks, and no worries. 

Glad to be done I looked at my average speed and was pleased with what I saw. With minimal miles and a hefty mass, I will take everything I can right now. When I looked back at my 'matched rides' on Strava it gave me more encouragement. I was almost as fast as my fasted matched ride nearly 4 years ago. I can't complain about that at all.

I will tell you this though.....legs HURT on Sunday and still a bit today. All I can do is recover, push fluids, and get back at it again. I am learning my limits. I am also learning what my recovery looks like in the aftermath of surgery. I am getting closer to my goals every day. Learning every day. Striving to do better everyday. There will be bad days. There will be hiccups. But all I can do is....

Keep moving forward.

A visit to Luton Park

 I had some follow up appointments in Grand Rapids last Friday, so I threw my bike on car. I figured I would head to Luton since I was in the neighborhood, and didn't feel like working. My appointments were done around 11:30 so I headed a bit further north to Rockford.

When I arrived I was honestly shocked at the number of cars in the parking lot. For it being a week day around noon, it was fairly busy. I geared up and headed out.

This trail is so well used that its like a highway through the woods. The good news is that it isn't super wide, just well worn in. You can see the start of fall for sure, with all the leaves. 

I rode through each section of the Yellow, orange, black, red, and green. Each of these sections is just a little different. The yellow has a few sweeping drops. The orange gets a bit rocky and offers some pine needle bed surfaces. It goes from a gravely sound to very quiet when you transition between the surfaces. 

The section above is towards the end of the Black loop. It has to be my favorite part of the trail. I actually rode through the first time around, then stopped for the pic. The interesting part of this trail is that each of the loops is a spur off of the Blue loop. This makes is easier to bail out if you need to. The black crosses the blue here, and then circles around. You end up riding the blue through this intersection a few minutes later. Yes, the trails cross...and yes they are marked very well that there is potential danger. I have never had any issues here. I think in all the times I have ridden Luton I have only seen 1 rider coming down the hill. 

After riding all of the loops I was short of 10 miles. I headed back out to ride the Blue loop again. I knew I didn't have the endurance for every loop, but wanted a double digit ride. As I was riding towards the yellow spur my mind started to wander to five years ago. It was in this spot that I realized I was having some major breathing issues. 10 days later I was in the hospital with a saddle pulmonary embolism. Nearly died. Now I was here again riding and enjoying the day. Literally, thankful to be alive. It has been a long time since that day.

Luton is a great trail. I wasn't fast, but it was great to be out and riding such a fun trail. There isn't anything difficult about the trail, and it was in great shape. If you are ever in the Rockford area I highly recommend coming here for a ride. And while you are this close, swing to Merrill as well. Its just down the road and offers another system of trails that I love. Heck, its worth a trip to go there and ride. Lots of trails within 15 minutes of each. Canonsburg is just down the road. Plenty of after ride options from breweries to regular fast food. 

I am planning to get out this weekend again, and just trying to decide where I want to go. I am not ready for the Dragon yet, but its surely on my list. I will avoid Yankee for now. So maybe Merrill, Mosquito Creek, Fort Custer, Meyer-Broadway, or even something else. Just want to get out and get more trail miles before the snow flies. 

Keep moving forward friends. 

Operation Phoenix Week 6

 6 Weeks can change a lot of things......

One thing that hasn't changed is the level of support that I am getting. Everyone is encouraging me and pushing me to reach my goal. Christine is proud of me and is my biggest cheer leader. Her support alone through all of this I will be continually grateful for. I am thankful for all of my friends and the support they send as well. You have no idea how much it helps.

Six weeks ago I was nervous about what was happening. Then I was regretting my decision. Literally was wishing I had not made this decision. I was in pain, I was struggling. After getting some fluids it was better, but I was still mentally struggling with the decision.

Four weeks ago I was able to eat smooth foods. Soup, cottage cheese, applesauce, and a pureed combo of chicken and veggies was my diet. These weeks went by quicker than I imagined they would, but I had good days and bad days. 

About three weeks ago I was so irritated with humanity that I felt unsafe to be in public. I literally felt like I could hurt someone. Unreal what food detox can do to you.

A week ago was better, knowing that the end of the baby food was coming. I mustered through, and I made it to my six week follow up. I had three appointments on Friday. Follow up with Physicians Assistant, a meeting with the nutritionist, and the last one with the Sport physiologist. Here is how each of them went. 

Nutritionist

The food was first on the list. A group of 4 of us were called into a conference room and we found our seats. The Dietician started by having us introduce ourselves and then asking us how things were going. Of the four of us.....most were doing pretty good overall. One was still having a hard time getting protein. One was ready for tacos. Another was tired of pinto beans. I was just tired of smooth foods in general. I did a decent job of mixing things up so I didn't get tired of anything. Just the smooth foods...ugh...I want to EAT something. Not just eat...but chew specifically. We got a handout and had some further instructions on the rest of our diet. Still no caffeine. No breads or pastas. But really, anything else is on the table. Clearly this has to be healthy choices. We can't swing to McDonalds and get fries on the way home from this meeting. Healthy options, and I am more than ready. I don't feel like I will struggle too much, just have to stay away from junk. We have plenty of healthy options in the house. A range from Greek yogurt to almonds, to hummus can be added to the chicken and whatever other protein I can eat. Just keep the sugar low and stay away from high carbs. Limit the starches. Basic stuff....that I have always struggled to follow in the past....but this time is different. 

Physicians Assistant

I will skip ahead to this appointment, saving the sports physiologist for last. I got called back and right away they walked me to the scale. I stepped on and was happy with the result. Around 28 pounds down since surgery. Not bad clip of 4.7 pounds a week. She asked how things were going and then went into what I should expect. She said that adding in food will accelerate the weight loss, which was kind of interesting to me. How can I eat more and lose more....this seems counterintuitive. The explanation was that food is fuel. For the body to burn fat, it needs fuel. Makes sense I guess. So I am curious to see how the next few months go. She said at this point my weight loss is well ahead of the curve. This is also shocking to me, because I initially had a rapid loss followed by a small gain and then small losses. So to be ahead of the curve at this point is exciting to me. I know that a 2 pound a week loss is generally considered healthy. I asked her if that is what I should expect to see. Her response caught me off guard a bit. She said "you should expect to see and average more than that per week now that you are on real food again". So.....as odd as it sounds.....these next 2 months will see more rapid loss than my first month. I am down with that. So stay tuned.

Sports Physiologist

I hear "Sean!" followed by a "there you are!" from Jeff. He is an avid cyclist and was looking forward to our appointment, as was I. He goes says "I knew it was you....USA cycling jacket, Canyon hat, and a gravel race shirt...it had to be you". lol. Funny. I was looking forward to picking his brain and he was looking forward to hearing about my story. I told him about my Lumberjack experiences and how there was failure last year, when I was still 285 pounds. He was impressed at what I have achieved at my mass and gave me a lot of insight on moving forward. I explained that I have been doing the weights three days a week, because I don't want to lose any muscle. He loved that, and went into how he knows I am strong...I have just been hauling a lot of mass. So we don't want to lose the muscle, we want to maintain. We don't even really need to build any more. If I can keep my current muscle, my watts per kilogram will steadily climb. Same engine, lighter body. Think about a race car, they strip away the extra weight and only need to tune the engines. This is what we will do. Drop the weight, keep the muscle....and things will change for the better. He gave me a few exercises to do and then gave me is contact info. He wants me keep him informed of my progress. Pretty exciting to have so many people in my corner!

So overall, it was a good day at the doctors. Knowing I would be in GR, I brought Mudhorn with me and headed to Luton Park. It was a gorgeous day, and I headed out for a lap or 2. I ended up with just over 10 miles. I did all of the outer loops and then the inner loop to get my mileage. Mountain biking really takes the energy out of me, so I figured a safe 10 instead of bonking out in one of the trails. I took Saturday off. Tom and I headed to Kal-Haven on Sunday morning for another ride. This time my goal was 20 miles at whatever pace I could hold. Again, another great day. We rode out from 10th street and when we hit the 10 mile mark we turned back. Pace was solid for me and I was feeling pretty good. Towards the end, where the trail kicks up from the river I started to feel it. I pushed my limit and now I know its about 20 miles. Still, good weekend on the bike.

Here are my current metrics (as of today). 

Weight loss since surgery: 29.2 pounds

Weight to go for Ultimate Goal: 77.4

Strava Fitness Level: 15

When I started riding again, my fitness level was a literal 1. Now its up to 15 in just a few weeks. I will continue to ride and tone and that will climb even higher. 

Stick with me friends, the journey isn't even close to being over. I have taken the reigns of my life back. 

Keep moving forward.