Operation Phoenix Week 3

 Operation Phoenix Week 3

RECAP

A week of ups and downs.....

Sometimes it can be hard to put things into words. That is likely why it is already Thursday, and I am just now posting this. So, lets go back a bit.

Smooth foods. I was cleared, nearly 2 weeks ago, to partake in smooth foods. This includes the likes of applesauce, hummus, cottage cheese, and really any foods that can be turned into the consistency of baby food. Yummy right? 

Well, I love cottage cheese...so that has helped. And really anything other than water has been great. Not as bad as you might think. I have fought through. Oh wait, I can have club crackers too. This truly helps when I want to eat something crunchy. I can only eat a little bit, which is fine. I eat and then a few hours later I eat again, and again, etc. I know when I push it because I feel icky for a while. Thankfully that passes, and I am understanding my limits so I don't feel like that again.

With the addition of food comes other things. I won't get into details, but lets just say I needed some lighter fluid to get the fire started.....

You see what I did there.....you get it. lol.

Because of the lack of fire, I was shocked to see the scale tick in the wrong direction this past Monday. When I stop and think about it, it does make sense. Keep taking in food with no output and that mass has to go somewhere. Wasn't a lot.....but to see the scale go up after 4 weeks of big losses....caught me off guard. I am logical enough to understand the pluses and minuses and know that all this mass won't fall off overnight. 

After talking with the doctors I feel better. Things are moving now. I am taking in less at each feed time. I am pushing my fluids still. Things will balance out. 

Riding went very well until I started to not feel good. I was full and lethargic. So I broke my streak at 12 days in a row. I then took a few days off until I was feeling better. I was back at it last night for my 30 minutes. Baby steps.

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. Today marks 4 weeks since surgery. I am down weight. I am eating ok. I have 2 more weeks on the smooth foods, then I should be cleared for normal food. This doesn't mean I have free reign to put Little Debbie and Oreo out of business. It just means I can eat healthy and normal foods. I am ready. lol. 

Mentally, this past week was rough. For too long I have relied on food as a coping mechanism, but that is no longer an option. I am working through some cognitive techniques to retrain my brain and help me remember that food isn't the answer. Instead, a literal walk around the house. A quick text to someone to break my train of thought. Anything to distract me from trying to eat garbage and keeping me a prisoner of food. I refuse. I didn't do this surgery to wind up right back where I was. I still have a lot of work to do. 

I am learning. I am growing emotionally. I am shrinking my mass. Eventually I will be kicking ass.

All I can do....is keep moving forward.