I feel like 2023 has been the Tale of 2 Cities. On the first half of the year my mileage was steadily climbing and my weight was steadily dropping. Then June hit. The miles stopped and the scale started going the other way.
Stepping on the scale this morning was a bit disheartening. Much of the work I have done in the first half of the year has disappeared. Not all of it, but enough that I know I need to get back at it.
I did have a ride a few weeks ago, but I flatted. At that moment I realized the entire level of mental toughness I had built up was gone. I was standing on the side of the road with a flat. Strike one. I pulled out my CO2 cartridge and spun it into the filler and reached for my rim when "POW" and the cartridge emptied. Ugh....strike 2. No pump, no air, no life in my legs and a long walk home. During that walk my mind wandered to The DUFF and Giant being dicks about the warranty. I was past it, but then I started to sink.
Christine picked me up and I told her "maybe I should take all of this as a sign that I shouldn't be riding anymore" and could just feel a heavy cloud sinking over me. That kind of feeling that actually had me contemplating just throwing it all in.....and finding something else.
That isn't who I am though.
I am and will always be a cyclist.
Yes I had a decent first half of the year. The second half hasn't been great, but that shouldn't define who I am or what I do. You know from my history that I let life sink in. However, in the past I used to let that shit sink in and bury me. Not anymore. Yeah, its been a few months since Lumberjack now. What better time to get back at it?
I fired up Zwift again today. Will try to get out and ride during this nicer weather. But I will have the trainer set up so I can get on there and burn off the crazy without worrying about anything other than turning my legs. Unplug. Check out and melt calories. Do better with eating (again) as this is always something that will be a hinderance. When I buckle down I do very good...but I lack discipline.
I can admit that. And I am not afraid of starting over. This time I am starting over at a lower weight with some mileage in my legs from the first half of the year. Lets get to it.
