Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Let's be honest.....

This is a post that I have been trying to write for a long time. Probably since Easter. I took a stroll away from the wagon.....like a long way from the wagon. I strayed past the wagon a few times over the past few weeks. And then Memorial day showed up.....and....well....

Over Easter weekend I must have eaten my weight in jelly beans......and chocolate....and well...whatever else I could get my hands on. I did ok though. It was like a phase that lasted about a week. I went from 240 back up to 245 and then dipped back to 243. I floated around there for the next few weeks. I was still riding. Still running. Feeling good. 

Then......we went to dinner at Logans and I had some of their rolls. They must have been like crack because I was then eating rolls, cinnamon rolls, sandwiches, pasta, and anything else with gluten or wheat or whatever the hell it is that tears my system up.....including pizza. mmmm. Pizza.

But.....this time I continued eating wheat. Didn't stop. Cereal. Had a drink. Had another beer. Pile it on! Over these weeks I did race my bike. Did alright at Custer....and did the best I could at Yankee. Was feeling alright. Still right around 244 and knowing...KNOWING I was lucky to be that weight considering the garbage I had been pushing into my system. 

Then....Memorial Day weekend came. I had been eating okay....just not the greatest. It started Friday when we had Chinese. Then Saturday I had McDonalds to start. Then ate whatever I could get my hands on at dinner.....including strawberry shortcake with ice cream and whipped cream. It continued into Sunday at the Hotel. Had biscuits and gravy, with a cheese omelet, and sugar filled mango juice. After breakfast I rolled into the truck to go and visit my Grandmother. After a nice visit we headed to Applebees for lunch. Scampi pasta.......are you seeing the gluten/wheat trend. Ugh. Oh, wait....to top it off...we stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home. lol. 

So.....I put garbage in....and I paid for it. I was 248 this morning. Ugh. Monday night after the DQ I did head out for a road ride. Got 35 miles in but the last 12 were awful. My brain checked out.....and it was all I could do to get back to the house without calling for a ride. So....I felt awful. Slept awful. Had a very long day on Tuesday at work and was just tired. Today I drug myself out of bed again. I did load up the Defy to attempt Wednesday night worlds....but felt miserable all day so I decided to just head home. 

My realization is that eating like crap makes me feel like crap. Duh right? But, I was able to cheat for a while, but now the time has come to pay up for all the garbage that I have taken in. It sucks. I am lethargic. I am tired. I feel like crap. I can't focus. I can't sleep. Just blah. This does not bode well for me finding the positive in everything. I guess....i am learning something yet again. 

My weight gain always happens this time of year. I find the excuses and let the weight pile back on. Not this time. I had chicken and veggies for dinner and I am going to bed earlier. Tired of my allergies bothering me (which never did when I was gluten free) and tired of feeling like dirt. So, I am looking at the wagon. Trying to find the way to climb back on.....and continue this journey I started in January.


On a positive note....I am still down 20 pounds for the year....just gotta keep moving forward.

2 comments:

  1. Sean, I used to smoke (I know, right, weird phase of my life). You have to look at eating like I look at smoking. I can NEVER have another cigarette. Even one cigarette is toxic. Even one cigarette leads to an unending addiction. You, my friend, have to accept that when it comes to food. Even one wrong choice is toxic. Accept the gluten allergy as a life style, not a diet. Love you, brother.

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  2. I learn a little bit every day. I am always a work in progress. My friend told me that it is about the journey...not the destination....enjoy the journey. Learn learn learn. Love you too sis!

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