This week has been good. Not gonna lie. Here are some highlights
1. I have been eating less.
2. I ran 2 miles without stopping.
3. I am having a solid positive emotional week
4. I feel excited about training again
The first step to over-coming an addiction is to admit you have a problem. I do believe I have some type of food addiction. Laugh if you want, but the garbage that I tend to put into my body has an extremely adverse effect on my chemistry. ohhhh...he is gonna use science?!?! Yes, look at any nutrition plan and you will see the underlying effects for reasons people gain weight. Not the only reason, but a definitive example of how a McDonald's chicken nugget can tear up your system more than say.....a piece of lettuce.
My point is this....I am finally willing to admit that I have problem with food. I could launch a barrage of excuses, but these excuses have landed me where I am now. Heavy. The actual number is not important. Just know, that for 3 months I put my body under more stress than I ever though imaginable....just with food. No exercise to speak of. The pounds were sticking to me like blacktop to the highway. Glued.
Mentally I was blown. I had numerous "what's the point" moments which I have thankfully surpassed. Don't get me wrong....mentally I am still touch and go.....I could very easily slide back into a deep depression and let the scale show me high numbers again. But right now....here...today...I am doing very good. I am not "on a diet" so to speak. I have just cut back what I am eating. Mentally making myself stop can be a difficult thing to do...especially because I love food so much. I will have setbacks....that is a normal occurrence. But I cannot let a setback completely derail the accomplishments. I have to accept the setback and put a stake in the ground...then continue.
I stepped on the scale at work last Friday. As of today I am down 6 pounds. Yes, it might seem like a lot in a week but I put over 20 pounds on in just a few months....so I will be able to drop a healthy 15 to 20 very quickly to get me back to where I was this winter. Today, I am 21 pounds heavier than when I did Lumberjack 100 in 2016. I was strong, albeit still heavy....even for a Clyde. But feeling better is going to be more important than a number on the scale. Yes, that number is important....but I am not going to be defined by it.
Maybe a different approach is what I have needed. Maybe hitting rock bottom is what I needed. Maybe I will go right back into my addictive habits....like so many addicts do. But maybe this time will be the time that I do it right...that I open up about things...that I am more honest....that I learn...that I succeed.
Crank Casey from the movie Robots had a good line "never try never fail". I have used that many times over the year. I believe Yoda had better wisdom with his "Do or do not....there is no try". I am here now.....doing. I need to continue to DO...and stop "trying".
Success is earned...not given.