Here is what happened....

I am sitting here on Memorial day pondering the 2018 race season.

Yes...2018.

Why?

Well....because I allowed 2017 to get away before the season ever started.

Yes....I am responsible. I would have missed Barry Roubaix and the Yankee TT regardless. The reason being my oldest daughter was tearing up dance competitions on those weekends. But even without the competitions my race season was over before it got here. 

My fault.

Instead of eating healthy....I ate like crap.

Instead of losing weight....I gained. 

Instead of putting in the work over the winter I gave up. 

I gave up. 

I dont want to say that I quit, but after looking back, I suppose I did. I skipped the first handful of races in 2016 because of dance and soccer and other family requirements. But then, I had a handful of solid events. I took 6th at Sweat Shaker in my first event. I followed that up with a hurtful 3rd place at the TreeTops XC. Sure it was last place, but it was a podium none the less. I was feeling pretty good and getting stronger. I landed on the podium in the Sport Open category at the TK Lawless XC. My confidence was growing. 

The next week.....Big M put an ass whooping on me. A single lap and I was done. Legs refused to work. Lungs wouldn't cooperate. Brain checked out. I was out of the race and headed home before the leaders finished the race. A few weeks later I made the trip to Bellaire for the Glacial Hills XC. While I loved the course, I got crushed on the first lap. I didn't feel strong, or competitive and took last place again. The next week was the Maybury Time Trial. I finished a full 20 minutes behind the leader...in a time trail. My confidence.....was gone.

Still, I attempted one more race. The Addison Oaks XC. This race was 3 laps, and each one put me further behind. Dead Last yet again. I had been getting slower every race. I was also getting heavier and losing confidence every day. It was after this race.....that I quit.

I did....I quit. I quit on myself.

I allowed myself to fall off the bike....and pulled up a chair at the nearest pity party. This allowed me to do more harm than good in the following months. I got to the heaviest I have ever been. My stress level went sky high. Add in the stress of normal life, normal job on top of eating like crap was that my riding stopped. Like...zero.

Lets add that up real quick.

No riding+more food+high stress= unhealthy and out of shape

About sums it up. 

So now that 2017 is nearing the halfway point and I have yet to start.....clearly this year is spent. But, it allows me to get a head start on 2018. The Lowell 50 is less than 45 weeks away. My plan is to be there....lighter....stronger....faster....ready. 

2018 will have no excuses.