Struggle Bus

 Not gonna lie.....I climbed aboard the struggle bus a few weeks ago and it hasn't stopped since!

Life, as usual, can get the best of us sometimes. In the past few days I have been wavering on the rest of my season. The next 4 weekends in a row I have a race. Fast Fitty, Hanson Hills 50, Dirty Donut, and Cowpie Classic. Then a weekend off....then....Coast 2 Coast.

I did a ride on Saturday on the Barry Roubaix course. I was planning the 62 mile course, but the body just wasn't having it. So I cut short. Ride was brutal. Body hated it. Mentally started to tank more. Amazing how much taking a week off the bike can mess with you. I started a new job and my routine hasn't been established yet. I was running short on time to ride, so I didn't. 

Ok, that is a lie. What felt like a busy week really wasn't. I am just using it as an excuse. While I felt like I didn't have the time to ride....I literally sat and did nothing other than hanging out with my daughter. 

Off week. Tough ride. Down the spiral I went.

This past Monday the day started off good. Put a mark in the win column. By noon, there was another mark in the loss column and the stress level was growing.....adding another mark in the loss column. On my way home I get a call from the school that one of my daughters was exposed to someone who tested positive for COVID at school. She is now in quarantine. Strike 3 for that Monday. Mentally.....I was done. 

As usual....when I mentally tank I instantly attack my riding and my events that are planned. We had camping booked this weekend for Fast Fitty, and now we cannot go. Cancelled. But I can still race. But what is the point. I should just cancel Coast 2 Coast too. 

So I told a bunch of my friends what was going on. They all told me NO WAY. You cannot cancel, you have been putting in the work and are just having a rough time right now. Keep riding and get back on track. 

I unplugged. Watched a sad movie with my daughter. Cried. Got sad. Cried some more. Talked more with friends that are giving me nothing but understanding and encouragement. Slept. Ate a box of cookies. 

Today, I feel better. Yeah life is still all over the place. But I am still on track for my goal mileage for the year....even after a week off. Saturday weather looks warm and I have a major bone to pick with that race.....because I was so slow last year. I have goals still. I just have to put the excuses away and put on my big boy pants. Keep working. Keep grinding. 

Right now.....