Clearly I have missed a few weeks.
So.....things are going ok still. But, they could be better. While I have still lost a bit of weight every week, I am not losing at the clip I expected. Nor am I at the clip that the PA said. I am nowhere near being "much more than 2-3 lbs a week".
So what's the deal. Well....as usual...I am the problem.
Some habits are hard to break. Some are not. I was hoping I was past the worst part of this journey, but I am right in the thick of it. I clearly have issues with food. I always turn to food when my stress is high. Guess what, my stress has been high. So, I have not been doing what I should be doing. I have eaten things that I said I wouldn't eat again. I have eaten things things that I said I would only eat down the road, in small doses. I have eaten....too much. So....deep breath.
I know this journey will take time. But, I alone have to make the decisions to get where I need to be. Yes I have been exercising. Lifting weights and riding my bike. Despite that, nutrition has not been good. So....
Yes, drawing a line YET AGAIN. But, that is the best part about this.....even with a few bad weeks, I am still much further ahead of where I was a few months ago. Right now is time to buckle down and stay buckled down. Right the ship, and continue to learn.
You can say I am hanging in there. I am still down 35 pounds since surgery. I am told that I look good. My clothes fit better. And I can still be better with my choices. That is the good news. So much like the image below.......here I am......
I was pretty hard on myself yesterday, from a mental perspective. I am disappointed in myself for not sticking 100% to the plan. Often taking the easy way out, and doing exactly what I told myself I would not do. Sure, you can eat that....one bite won't hurt. But it does. Because that one bite of whatever I shouldn't have causes a domino effect and turns into multiple bites of what I shouldn't have. That is followed by a poor mindset of "you already ate (whatever) and might as well have another snack". I can't allow myself to do this....again. I shall prevail.
I am not saying I cannot reach my goal. I am saying that I needed a moment of focus and insight to change my mindset. Today has been great. Simple things like choosing the right thing to eat, and drinking a ton of water have already helped. Honestly, I think not drinking enough water is a major culprit in this. So my intake is up today, and will be a major component of moving forward.
So no, this post isn't negative. Just information of where I am. I have felt better today after talking out some of the details with Christine. I have been diligently tracking what I have eaten today. Setbacks happen. Whether mental or physical. Instead of allowing myself to sink into self pity, I made a few changes to correct the actions. Now I have to stick with them.
I did do a Kal-Haven on Sunday. Was good to have Jay along for the ride. Because he hasn't been riding and was on a borrowed bike, he turned back at mile 9. Was a good to see you my friend. Missed you. I pressed on into Gobles, and started to regret my decision. I couldn't hold a high pace (for me). I am sure it has to do with my nutrition, but the cold in the air didn't help either. It was 34 F degrees (0 degrees Celsius) when we started. It was really only touching 50 when I got done. I just rode as hard as I could, tried to press. The last few miles are always the worst part. I didn't really slow down much, just held a steady pace. Still, was much slower than my last ride a few weeks ago.
All I can do is keep moving forward. As far out as it seems, Barry Roubaix is already getting closer. I know I have a full winter to get ready for 62 miles, but I have to leverage my position everyday. Stick with me friends, we are getting there.
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