Good and faithful moron

I don't like to talk about work on here....but this was one I could not avoid....because it was related to cycling. I work with a guy that is a constant one-upper. It doesn't matter what anyone has seen or done....this guy has either done something more impressive....or knows someone that has done something more impressive.

As the story goes...I was talking to another co-worker about the Iceman Cometh mountain bike race. This other guy pipes in with "I have a really nice bike". My reply was cool man, and I carried on with my other conversation. Within a few minutes he couldn't help himself and was interrupting yet again with "my bike is top of the line dude!" with some authority! So....instantly.....I thought of the scene in the Matrix when Morpheus offers Neo the blue pill or the red pill.

I thought of this because....well....I know quite a bit about cycling and cycling related things. I possibly act like I know more than I really do....but I also ask a ton of questions. Borderline annoying? Fully annoying is more likely. Anyway, because he said he had "top of the line" and I know how deep the rabbit hole goes I asked him the simple question of "what do you ride?"  He looked stumped for a second. It was almost as if I had asked him to explain quantum mechanics. "Specialized" was finally muttered from his lips. It was like he was racking his brain trying to figure out a cool bike company and he happened to land on Specialized. So then he asked me what I ride and I responded quickly with "Specialized Epic". JACKASS ALERT: Here is how the conversation went...

"Epic? what is that like a low end model?"

     me: No it is actually one of their higher models...

him: but my Stumpjumper is their top bike...for sure

(in my mind I am thinking...really dude.....like 10 years ago the stumpy was their top of the line bike)

me: Well...a Sworks Epic Carbon would be their top of the line nowadays

him: (not knowing that I am an avid cyclist) How do you know that?

coworker: Sean rides a ton dude.....he knows what he is talking about

him: oh really?

me: yeah....I was just talking about racing remember?

So....as the months have worn on he makes a comment now and then about riding again. I always tell him to grab his bike and I will take him out. No problem. He has never accepted....or even acted remotely interested.

A few weeks ago....lol.....he recieved the button below.

A co-worker was talking about how he was sore from running on the tread mill and of course this other guy pipes in with....I could run.....yada yada. And the....he throws down the gauntlet and says "I am even going to dust off my bike and show Sean how to ride". I just smiled at him and said "whenever you are ready dude" and he immediately started saying he was kidding. I wish he would get his bike out.....so I could show him how its done. I might not be the fastest person but I know my strengths and weakness are stronger and less weak than his.

Somewhere....a village is missing it's idiot.....

(Barry Roubaix in 31 days)