As I get older I am starting to be more honest with myself. I broke down and went the doctor this year. If you know me, or any man for that matter, you know I don't like going to the doctor unless I am on the verge of death. So earlier this year when I went voluntarily my wife was rather surprised. At any rate, that step helped me look a bit closer at myself and my trends over the past few years. Here are a two....
1. My weight always drops from January to June and goes back up from September to January.
(I equate this the seasons. I am way more active in the summer and I start to drop weight in January
because I know the mountain biking season is coming in April)
2. My mood always gets worse in the fall and into winter. (I know this happens to a lot of people and it has
an actual name S.A.D. or Seasonal Affected Disorder...which is basically depression brought on by
lack changes in the weather...mine being the absence of warmth.)
The above reasons are why I went to the doctor. To find a balance. My family made the tough choice to go to a new doctor this year as well. My new doctor told me that he would like to see me drop "a significant" amount of weight. This number is irrelevant at this point, but if you have read this blog at all you have an idea.
Last week I was just blah. Stress from work, family life, lack of exercise have added up to nothing positive. I pulled back. Started to shut down like I always do. My thoughts changed from "make it a good day" to "what is the point in trying". Down the spiral I went. Every year, like clockwork, this happens. So this year I decided to look at why it happens. No solutions, just the reasons. And I know some people might be thinking "oh, here come his excuses again" but that isn't what this post is about....it is about me realizing what the actual problems are. A person cannot reach a solution until the problem has been established.
As a father of 4 my schedule generally revolves around my awesome kids. I have a son always wanting to go driving. 2 girls in dance and one in soccer. With dance 4 days a week and soccer practices/games mixed in along with volleyball my time is structured basically the same every week. Now, add in that four kids want help with their homework and another chunk of time is taken away. Did I mention that it gets dark at 7:30 now? I don't really like riding on the road in the daylight...people are just crazy in the dark, but I do have a trainer. And, why not go for a run. Run on the sidewalk....its not like I am fast anyway.
So, my problem is time structure. I work until 5 or 5:30 which means I am getting home around 5:30 or 6. We have dinner.....and sit down to work on homework at 7. Put the little girls in bed at 8:15 and 8:45. Older kids go to bed when they are ready. If I went out the door at 9 pm to run I would be done and out of the shower before 10. Easy. Well, maybe I want to ride. So, jump on the bike by 9 and spin for an hour and be out of the shower and in bed by 10:30.
I am my own worst enemy. I had time to ride 2 weeks ago and didn't take the opportunity because mentally I was starting to spiral. I have been dressed and ready to ride 3 times in the past two weeks and had some unforeseen thing happen to kill the ride. I spiraled because I allowed it to happen. It is up to me to make what I "want" to do fit in with what I "need" to do. One step at a time....I am starting to break down the barriers that have landed me where I am today.....as an athlete trapped in a heavy body. I have to learn that a 1 mile run is better than nothing, or that 45 minutes on the trainer is still a stress reliever.
Now that I know the problem....I am working on the solution. Lets take a ride....