Not good....not good at all

I am not sure if you noticed or not....but this guy hasn't been on a bike for weeks. And the last time I did actually ride....I was heavy...slow...and out of shape.

I have my reasons....(eh hem....excuses) for why I haven't been riding but I am not going to bore you with them...it is pointless.

I will tell you that my stress level has sky rocketed again and I have been seeing symptoms from the ulcer I had. That is awesome. Somewhat self inflicted but not entirely. I cannot control the outside forces that cause the stress...but I can control how I deal with it. How I have been dealing with it.....poorly. 

I have been shoveling in the food in a futile attempt to make myself feel better. And in typical fashion I do feel better while eating, then feel like dirt after stepping on the scale. Circle of life...yada yada.

So I am on the brink of throwing in the towel on the first few races again. I just simply don't have the motivation to get on the bike, let alone get on the bike and race. I am starting to add up the cause of all of this and working on changing it. 

Dear Body :an open letter to the rest of the body.....from the legs....

Look....we need to talk. Like....put that donut down because this is serious kind of talk.

Okay, do I have your attention.....no....no...NO....stop touching that.

FOCUS.

Finally....thank you for your undivided attention. The reason I am calling you all together today is to discuss our current situation. Due to piss poor decisions by the brain and stomach in recent months I have been forced to drag your lazy ass around on the bike. Arms and hands....you really think this has nothing to do with you? You are just as much to blame because you are the shuttle that puts that garbage in the mouth.....then the mouth just aimlessly chews whatever is there.

You guys....the only one of you on my side in the last ride we had.....was the lungs. Well, the lungs and the heart. Because if the heart gives up hope then the rest of us are just screwed. And don't think I don't hear the stomach and intestines joking about the "events" we have been having since November. You think that is funny....why don't you ask the colon how it feels. Yeah, piss the colon off once and see just how bad the rest of us feels. It isn't funny to send acid rockets to the colon and expect it to still be our friend. Thankfully I could get us to a restroom fast enough....ugh.

Anyway, we are in rough shape gang. The brain...hey....you have held it together during major life changing stress moments when the rest of us didn't want to continue. Kudos. The heart, dog....you just keep beating to your own rhythm. Well done on keeping the blood pressure down and not causing other issues as we fall apart. The lungs. Where do I start? You have always struggled. Been held down by an abdominal cavity so full you feel like you cannot inflate to your potential. Still, you do what you can in the space provided. Well done.

Now.....the bad news kids. As well as the brain did to hold this shit together....the coping mechanisms were not the right ones. Not by a long shot. You teamed up with the arms and stomach to make a long string of terrible nutritional decisions. In turn, the rest of us suffer. Honestly, we all suffer. Don't you see what it is doing. The core muscles cannot hold us ups straight....or postures is awful....think Quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Granted we are not that far yet, but we are approaching it. 

I, the legs, had this realization on the third sister of the Barry-Roubaix last Sunday. The lungs and heart couldn't get me the oxygen I needed to haul your dumb asses up that hill. Well, because we have been laying on the couch eating chips and cookies I don't have the freaking strength to do it....so then....we walk. Guess what friends....this makes all of us look bad. You know people point. They stare. Little kids cry out in horror "why is that huge sausage walking with a bicycle". Admit it....we need to fire this thing up and work together...because I can't do it alone.

So, I simply ask this of the brain. Overpower the stomach. Don't let the stomach decide to dump thousands of empty calories in. If the left arm brings a brownie up to the mouth....either don't the mouth open or make the right hand knock that brownie down to the floor so I can stomp on it. I get it, I really do.....they are delicious. But if we don't get nutrition sorted out and learn discipline we are going to be in the same boat year after year.....and it is sinking. 

I loved the feeling of all of us working together to get this guy across the finish line at Lumberjack 100 in 2015. But then we went thru some tough times. I didn't speak up because I thought it was just a phase. Clearly I was wrong. I showed us what we are capable of on the training session the other night. Felt good right? Lets take control of this dude and get him into race shape. Lets get him competitive this year. Lets get him some confidence. Because lets face it.....the better this guy we are attached to is...the better we all are. 

Now....lets go....

March is here already

Is it just me...or has this year been sneaking past already.....it is already the second week of March?!?!

Riding....well....a bit. Nowhere near the level of riding I need to be putting in right now. I have had a few trainer sessions and that has been about it. 

I headed out to Barry Roubaix 2 weekends ago for a jaunt on the short course. My thought process was "it is shorter, it has less climbing"....which it does....but the hills are still tough. It was a solid 21 mile ride in awesome weather.

This past Sunday I headed up there again. With only 1 short trainer session in my legs I was sure it was going to be awful again....and it was. I am well overweight and was dragging a 38 pound fat bike around those hills....just a dumb thing to do....or is it?

Secretly it has to be fairly genius. Think "weight training". I drag that beast around for 20ish miles and then when I get on The D.U.F.F. or the Defy at half the weight and I am instantly faster, not to mention the added strength I use by hauling that tank around.

Anyway, Matt (new teammate this year) and I headed out and did the short Barry Roubaix course again. The wind was cold, with a windchill in the mid teens. But I never really got cold....once I got warmed up. By the third sister my legs were begging me to turn around. I will have a post about that coming up because i found it pretty funny in my head. 

Struggling up the last part of "The Wall" photo courtesy of Matt F.

Matt was kind enough to hang with me while I trudged up the hills I could made and the couple that I did have to walk. No shame. I am heavy. The bike is heavy. The hills are no joke. It was a great day to be out though....the sun was shining and the gravel roads were like concrete. We finished our ride and headed home to continue our Sundays!

The races are coming....quick. I won't be doing any that I planned the first month of the season simply because I am not ready. I have some work to do but will be racing at Yankee and Fort Custer for sure. By then, I will have shed some weight and gotten a wee bit stronger!

Keep moving forward.