Solo Warnaar

I haven't ridden out here in a few months. But I really really wanted to ride my mountain bike and this trail is always a good time. There had been some major improvements since I was last out there. I was greeted by a brand paved entrance and redesigned parking lot.

It was not super early, and the trail head was fairly busy. I found a spot and geared up. I tore my car apart looking for my computer. Couldn't find it. I just decided to use my phone instead. I put my shoes on and tada...there was the Wahoo Edge I had been searching for. It was time to ride!

I headed out. On Saturday the trail runs in a counter-clockwise direction. Its not my favorite direction, but still a lot of fun. The dew was heavy on the grass and weeds as I got started. It was interesting to wander just a bit off the main trail and get sprayed with water off the tires. 

I wasn't even 5 minutes in when I felt a major pain. It was on my right leg, just above my knee on the back side. Boom. Bee sting. Are you kidding me?  I committed a murder shortly into my ride. 

It hurt, but I just kept riding. I was shocked by all the new trail I was finding. The workers have been super busy creating more trail and improving the existing trails. There was one spot in particular that I was happy to see a re-route. In the opposite direction you entered this area from a field...and rode literally right into the path of the disc golfers. Just along the path of their tees. From the direction I am riding, my back is to the tee so you don't really know if someone is there.

The re-route takes you away from the disc golf fairway and thru the trees so this is avoided. Well done gang!  Beyond that, there was more features added and I kept getting lost as to where I was. Not 'lost' in the sense of losing the trail. Just lost in that I couldn't place where I was on the trail because there was so much new!

I ended up riding 2 solid laps out there that day. It was a beautiful day to be on the bike. I took the time to just reconnect to the woods. It brings peace....even in the chaos of a bike ride. I was super relaxed after that ride.

I am getting there friends....one day at a time. 

 

Getting there

 It can be pretty amazing how your mindset effects your efforts. Since I made the decision to do LJ100 in 2023 I have ridden more miles. By more miles, I mean...I have nearly as many miles in the past 3 weeks as I had the previous 6 months.  

As I said before, the damage was done. However, I do notice that even with the lack of miles in my legs that I am bouncing back. I know I can't get on the bike and ride 100 miles right now. 50 would be a very bad idea. 40.....sure why not. Its not that much of a stretch over the 30 I have ridden recently. 

The perspective is the weird part. I need to remember to keep things in perspective. I didn't get where I am overnight. I did a little bit of damage every single day. Slowly making that number on the scale bigger. I need to reverse the process exactly the same way. 

The first step was pumping the brakes. I did that with a CTJ moment a while ago. I took that hard look at myself. At the end of the day, I am responsible for both the damage and the healing.

To that aspect, I am getting there. Mentally I know I will waver. I always do. But, I also know I have the capability to enforce the mental toughness on myself. I was in a terrible marriage for 20 years, I have 4 kids, I have what can be a stressful job at times. Life. I made it this far....so I know I am able. lol.

The key will be consistency. I did good for a few weeks and then struggled again for a few days. Struggling is ok. We all deal with it. But that reminds me of something I heard many many years ago. A friend of mine was really down in the dumps. And the hits kept coming. Then there was a death to someone very important to them. At the funeral you could see the struggle and could see my friend was at the breaking point. Another friend and I were chatting and he told me it was time to have a talk with our friend. We went to dinner after the funeral. My friend said one of the most profound things I have ever heard. He told my saddened friend this:

"I know you are struggling my friend. Here is what you need to do. I want you to go home and have a few days to yourself. I want you to deal with everything you are feeling. If you are down....get as far down as you can possibly go. Feel it. Deal with it. But then like a phoenix I want to see you rise. What you are going thru is real. I am not telling you to forget about it. I want you to deal with it and then dust yourself off and come back stronger. Its ok to feel your feelings and to be down. Just don't get stuck there"

I saw a transformation in my friend within a week. It was pretty amazing.

My point it....whatever we are dealing with is ours to deal with. Its how we deal with it that determines the outcome. Some people deal with things gracefully. Some people look like a dumpster fire but they keep pushing on. Either way, we deal.

So life will happen. But, I am getting there. Setbacks will happen. But I won't let them derail me. I can't let it happen....this is my life I am talking about. 

Keep pushing.