Today marked my second week of tracking weight loss. Last week I lost 6 pounds....this week I lost zero pounds....and I gained zero pounds. This means that I am still hanging out way higher than where I want to be. I will take a zero pounds after a big week...and I will expect a big week again next week. I just need to get through these next few Christmas parities without eating my weight in Hersey kisses and pumpkin pie.
Now....for my letter to Tag Heuer.
Dear Jean-Christophe Babin,
It was brought to my attention today that you have dropped Tiger Woods in your advertising campaigns in the United States. I assume this relationship with Mr. Woods has been a large investment for your company. Tiger Woods is a talented golfer. His recent activity has surely been challenging. I would like to commend your company for withdrawing his advertisements. Your decision shows that Tag Heuer is a company built on integrity and that the image of the company must be held high.
The reason I am writing this letter is as an inquiry. Now that Mr. Woods is no longer representing your company, I would like to offer myself in his place. I assure you that the dollar amount I seek is considerably less than what Mr. Woods would request. He is, or at least was, a top ranked professional golfer constantly winning tournaments. I am a weekend mountain biker trying to place in the top 3 at an event in Michigan. The scales are quite different. What I do bring is an honest and ethical family man. I am quite positive that my wife would not attack me with a golf club if she ever found out about infidelity as I have never strayed. This opportunity I am offering is a way for your company to make contact with people who possibly have never heard of Tag Heuer.
Your sponsorship with me would also be an excellent way to get a grass roots mountain bike team started. I assure you that our team would display the Tag Heuer name proudly and ethically. We are not people that the press would investigate if the odd occurrence of a crashed SUV were to arise. Please take the time to consider my offer. You would pleased to know that your hard earned money was being put to good use, and not being spent on affairs or mistresses. The occasional alcoholic beverage may be purchased, but only for the team and our friends.
I understand if you find this letter as appalling. It is shocking to know that people will proudly, and ethically, display your product for less than a seven figure contract. If our team was able to land Tag Heuer as a sponsor, it would ensure your name being shown across the state at many different events. Consider it.
Thank you for your time,