Lumberjack 100 Race Recap

 There is no joy in Mudville....

Christine and I loaded up Thursday evening to head north. We made a quick stop to grab Lisa and off we went. We arrived at our airbnb and got settled in. Easy and relaxing Thursday night.

Friday we got up and headed to Manistee to get some groceries. In hindsight, we were 5 minutes from The Dublin store and should have just gone there. Next year. But we got our stuff and headed back to Wellston. Then it was time to head to Big M and pick out tent spot. We pulled in around 2 and lugged our tent down the start/finish area a bit. A lot of people were around getting set up. We picked a spot right where the start loop kicked into the main loop. Once we got back Lisa and I headed out for an easy spin on some local gravel. We got 11 flat and easy miles and then just relaxed until dinner. 

Lisa and I on our flat cruise

Saturday the alarm went off at 5am. Grabbed a banana and a couple of eggs and we were off. Lisa and I got to Big M around 5:40 and it was already bustling. We got set up and started getting ready. It was brisk, temps were in the 40's at this point. For it being middle of June I was seeing way too many coats and hats. Pretty soon it was time to roll around a bit. 

Lisa and I before the start!

Wave 3 for the start.

We lined up and it was almost time to go. Lisa and I started in Wave 3. It was so cool to see Rick Plite lined up to race. For those that know, Rick started this event and this was his first time ever racing it...as far as I know. Still cool to see him at the line!

Time to go!

Final announcements and it was time to roll. Pretty chill start. Nice 2 mile pavement section. Everyone was just kind of chatting and rolling along. Lisa and I dropped in behind a few riders. Everyone made the turn off the pavement onto the 2-track back to the team tent area. It was a pretty solid string of riders moving along thru this whole area. People trying to settle into their paces. We hit the tent area to a pile of cheers and applause. This is where the race really starts.....

This first section is climbing for nearly 2.5 miles. The first part isn't terrible. A gentle climb. I settled into the group and watched Lisa ride away. She is a better climber than me. I was holding my own on that first part. I could see riders strung out ahead of me for a long ways. It is nice, because it gives you an idea of what is coming. However....what was coming wasn't very nice. There are some major major kickers in these woods. The first one had a conga line of people pushing their bikes. Just gotta do what you can here. Ride a bit, walk the rest. No shame. Everyone is in good spirits still.

Then another kicker. And another. The group is starting to get spread out now as the reality of what we are attempting is starting to sink in. I grabbed another wheel and there was a decent group riding together still. All this, less than 10 miles in. ugh. I was in for a long day!

After that first section of climbing the course is much more enjoyable. It is rolling hills and sections all the way to the aid station. Its fun to hear them cheering, hooting and hollering as people ride thru. I opted not to stop and just kept moving forward. The next few miles were not fun. The section after the aid station was more big hills. Nasty steep hills. Some people were able to ride them, and major kudos to them. Majority of the masses were walking. The people were starting to thin out and spread across the Manistee National forest now. At this point, the leaders had already crossed the finish line and were chasing us. 

I hooked up with a few guys that were riding my pace. We all walked the hills and then cruised the rest. Good guys to ride with as they were my pace. We rode together for probably the last 6 or 7 miles of the first lap. Around 4 miles to go its a bench cut trail and is just slightly uphill. A fun section with beautiful scenery. Rick Plite was with me again. We bombed the Bushwaker descent together. It was so fast that I actually used my brakes. Not knowing the trail and not wanting to die I played it safe. We kept pushing on and eventually I saw some tents. Lap 1 was done!

I crossed the line in 3:50:06. At is stands....that is exactly 1 minute slower than 2015. I am on pace to reach my goal of making the cutoff time. 

I roll into the tent to restock water. I am filling my bottle when I hear "Hey baby!" and I look up to see Christine! Her, L2 and Glenna were there to cheer on Lisa and I. It was good to see her, but I was in full race mode. So I blew her a kiss and was ready to go again. L2 asked where Lisa was, and I was 400% confident she had already come thru. I said my goodbye's and headed out to tackle lap 2.

Little did I know that somewhere along the way I had passed Lisa. I haven't looked at the video yet, but I am guessing she was at the Aid Station when I rolled thru. She came thru about 7 minutes after I did....but I would have bet 100 bucks she was still ahead of me. lol. Funny what you can miss when you are riding....

Lap 2 started with that super nasty long climb. I cleared the first (easier) part and had to walk the kickers again. No worries....just keep going. At this point the riders were very spread out. I wasn't really riding with anyone but I was starting to suffer. Legs were not liking the amount of climbing this course offers. Surely something to work on in the future. I pressed on. I wasn't very far into that lap when I heard "Rider back".....and it was the eventual 2023 Lumberjack winner Jorden Wakeley. I didn't even make it 40 miles into the race this year and got smoked. That guy has always been a strong cyclist...but I shit my pants that he caught me that early. His awesome race ended with the coveted 10 year Saw. So awesome for him as well as the others that got their saw this year.

I settled into my pace and started riding with a single speeder named Bruce. We went back and forth all the way to the aid station. We both stopped and grabbed a snack. I looked at him and asked "you ready Bruce?" and he goes "YEP, lets get to it". So we rolled out again. There was a woman that had been back and forth with us as well. We all kind of suffered together on the next miles. Bruce had his chain come off. Then a flat. Eventually I was riding alone until I passed the woman again. Then I heard Lisa behind me. I heard her call out a pass and took a glace back to catch her jersey. Apparently I owe L2 an apology! ha! Here she was.

When she caught me I said "HEY SIS" and she was like "how did you know it was me??!!?". lol. We rode together for a short amount of time before a nice descent. We were just ramping up the speed when I heard a horrendous sound and felt my bike let loose. It felt like the rear brake went out.....and when I stopped to look I couldn't quite figure out what happened. I wiggled my rear wheel and it flopped like a banana peel. Bearings? Did I just blow apart my rear wheel? Still not knowing I urged Lisa to press on. The lady I had been riding back and forth with stopped to offer her cell but we didn't have service. All I could do was walk. 

I walked for a bit before I decided to really look into what was going on. Maybe I can ride the flats. I rolled about 50 feet before I looked down and saw this....

Needless to say....my race ended the moment I heard the pop. I just had to keep walking. My phone had died at this point...so I was kind of stuck. Thankfully I remembered my gopro has the same plug as my phone and connected it to my battery bank. Eventually I worked with Christine, Lisa, Summer, and the promoters to get out of the woods. I walked around 2.5 miles before I finally found a spot where SAG could get me. Was a terrible place for my bike to break. Was a cool SAG pickup as he is a guy that I know. Allen and I had a great chat on the way back to the parking lot. 

So....clearly not how I wanted this race to go. Not only did I miss the cutoff time, but I also came home with a busted bike. I would like to say that the weekend overall was good....but we had some pretty serious ups and downs. It was great to see some old friends like Mr. Shaver, the Bartzens, the Ackers, the TenCates and Mr. Wheeler. All of the cheering and support is greatly appreciated! This event wouldn't be the same without you! 

I will have some videos coming and will be sure to tag anyone I can. 

Again, BIG THANK YOU to the Lumberjack promoters and their volunteers. Your time and efforts never go un-noticed. You guys are the best people I know and you will always have my support! 

Massive thank you to Lisa for attempting this crazy event with me! I am so proud of you sis! You did an amazing job! I am so thankful to call you and your family my family. I love you more than you know! It was great to line up and ride with you literally from the beginning until the end. Your relentless support, motivation and listening ears have been more help than you can ever imagine. So Thank you for being you!

Finally, thank you to Christine! My love, you are there for me when I need it most. You have been supporting my decision to try this crazy event from the start. You helped me lose the weight I have lost. You encourage me to ride. You even woke up at 5 am on Saturday to wish me luck! When my bike was broken your first words were "we will get you another" which is silly! ***(a moment of honesty here, Chris might not know how much we really spend on bikes :) She is very new to what we do.)  You help keep me sane when I am at my darkest. You offered me all your positive vibes on Saturday when you had bad news hanging on you. Thank you baby for being there for me and helping to push me forward. Of all of us, you were the one that said "you will do it next year". You know we are nuts, yet you give us your support anyway. Thank you woman. I love you.

Lumberjack 100 preview

 It really seems like this race got here too fast....

Fast....ha....extremely relative term.

For me, the LJ100 isn't about fast. Its about finishing. So there is a semblance of speed in that statement. With a cutoff time I have to be "fast enough" to make the cutoff time. But once that is reached....finishing is key. 

Lets take a look at the course. Not once, not twice, but 3 times around this track designed by Matt Acker. There is a solid mix of mainly singletrack with a few fire roads and some normal roads mixed in. What is not shown is the Start. We will start at Big M and ride a couple of miles out before looping into the woods and arriving back at the start of the lap below. I will have to make it around this lap twice in under 8 hours and 15 minutes to make the cutoff time. Yes, there will be a ton of people finished and on their way home by then. That doesn't matter....its my goal. 

Here are some of the segments on this course. 

I remember parts of the course from when I rode it in 2015. I know the climb out of the finish/lap area is brutal. It will be about surviving that climb. I know there are many others that will be tough. I also know this route is a bit different than 2015. The Fire tower section is different. There was a super nasty nearly vertical climb out of there that I only recall a few people ever riding. Most had to get off and walk...just like me. ;)

My guess is that this will be similar to the Hanson Hills 50 conditions....hopefully a bit less sand. Terrain wise....foliage wise....its close. I recorded over 82 feet of climbing per mile at Hanson. According to the info above the Lumberjack course will be about 73 1/2 feet per mile. So....less? No....but per mile its less. Sure the LJ100 is 2x as long, but here is why I bring this up.

I raced Hanson specifically to test for LJ100. What I learned is that I was solid for 25 miles. But I paid the price for starting and riding so hard....and my second lap suffered. It was a good simulation of what I would be dealing with on Saturday. Hills. I know what I am in for....a long awesome day on the bike. 

Does less climbing per mile mean I will be faster than I was at HH50? Unlikely. Its just a number. But it gives you an idea of how difficult this race will be. As with all the other events I have been watching videos to get an idea again of the course. With 30 plus miles...I won't remember it...but it might give me an idea of where I am on the course. I also have the course downloaded so I can get an accurate location. My computer showing my mileage will be a big enough indicator that I really won't need the course. I just need to focus on riding steady.

Steady efforts. That is what this race will be for me. Not jumping off the line and riding 20 plus mph on the pavement just to be with people. LP is coming and I haven't really talked to her about her strategy yet, but we will do that Thursday and Friday. I know for me the story of the Tortoise and the hare. In this story the Hare will finish long before me, but the slow and steady approach will get me to the finish line for my own accomplishment. 

I just had the thought that some readers might not know what the Lumberjack 100 is. Well, if you click here you can check it out. It is a full fledged 100 mile mount bike race in the woods of Big M recreation area in Udell Hills just outside of Manistee, MI. In 2015 it took me just over 12 hours to finish. The winners were much much faster. I have close friends that were in that 10 hour range. Strong riders. Its just a different type of event. Some of the beasts will crush it. Some will drop out. Some, like me, will be ecstatic with a finish. Its the journey that will define us.

So....now what. Well, I have a few goals. Lets dig in.

1. Make the cutoff time. This one has to happen for the rest to happen. I know I have plenty of time and I know I can do it...now I have to execute. 
2. Finish. When I make the cutoff all I have to do is keep going. The finish line won't go anywhere. So tick that first box and this box will take care of itself.
3. Sub 12 hours. This one is where the grey area starts. Not a hard goal, but I would love to be faster than I was in 2015. I was way on pace to do this at the HH50. However, I was tanking and cannot do that at this event. I plan to temper my first lap so I can finish strong...similar to how I rode the Cow Pie last week. 
4. Don't be last. Even if I am that will be ok....but I really don't want to be last. DFL>DNF....but man are these 2 close for me.
5. Don't tank mentally. After I make the cutoff time I will have 32 miles to have my brain fight me. I will focus on positive and little course goals to keep my motivation going. 

So there it is. The work is done. Now its time to put it all together and get a finish. It will be a birthday present to myself....as Saturday is my 47th birthday. If anyone is there, say HI. Hope to see some old friends and some new. 

Cow Pie Classic Long Haul Race Review

 How did the Cow Pie Classic go.....

It started with a trip to Ionia. I can say that in all my years in Michigan that this was the first time I had ever been there. My drive up was quiet. I liked the last part of the drive where the road dropped down to the river. I rolled in and saw where everyone was parking. I followed suit and parked before heading to the Ionia Theatre for packet pickup. Cool little theatre reminded me of The Regent in Allegan. Neat that the towns hold onto their culture still. I grabbed my packet and headed back to the car. 

Since I replaced my valve stems and went tubeless on the TCX I have had some issues with my pump. Not sure if its the pump...the stems...or a combo. But I had to borrow a pump. Big shout out to Main Street Bicycle Company for having a tent right by me and letting me borrow a pump. Much appreciated!

It was time to do a little warmup. With 63 miles ahead of me I didn't want to do a major spin, just a bit to get my legs moving. I know that this course has a few climbs right off the bat so I didn't want to start cold, just a little warm. I headed down the Fred Meijer trail that is right there. There is a really nice bridge here to ride over. I headed down the trail a bit just easy spinning. 

Legs were feeling pretty good overall. A ride earlier in the week they felt what I can only describe as "chunky". Like there were chunks of muscle that didn't want to work. Once I got further into the ride that went away...and this is what I was trying to avoid with a short warmup. I rolled back over the bridge and into downtown Ionia for the lineup. Heard my name and it was Dale saying Hi. Make sure you check out his events later this year. Either the Fast Fitty or Custers Last Stand. Great guy, great causes, fun events. 

Then it was time to line up. Looking at my number plate I was wave 1. There was a lot of confusion here as people were all mingled together trying to get to the front. A lot of Long Haul riders were trying to get to the right wave. I couldn't really hear the announcements but they were saying that Singlespeed and Clydesdales should start at the 9:06 wave....but my number plate said 9am. Not being able to fully understand....I started with the Elite Long Haul wave. They played the national anthem and a single prop plane did a flyover. Pretty cool actually. 

Then it was go time. I was towards the back and by the time I got to the Start/Finish line the group was decimated. There was the big group up the road and a string of riders all the way back and past me. LOL. I chatted with a few other riders and just settled into my pace. The first paved sections had more climbing than my body prefers that early in a race. Nothing like starting uphill. lol. But I managed to hold my pace until Welch Wall. I was halfway up when I heard a train coming. This was the wave that started after me and there was a huge group. They came charging past with a few even sneaking past on the right side of me. I was as far right as I could get...but some still found some room. By the time I got to the top...that group was gone too. lol. Strong riders for sure.

I settled into my pace and just rode how I wanted to ride. I made sure to drink every 10ish minutes. This was a big issue last week. I had to ensure to get my calories in and stay hydrated during this race. I made it a point to keep that intake where it needed to be. Twenty miles in I started to see a few people ahead of me. There were still some riders passing too. I was alone, but not completely alone. I eventually reeled in a few riders. So far, everything was going according to plan. I did catch a guy and we chatted a bit. This was his first race ever. He was shocked by the elevation...lol. I told him this was a flatter race....and he was surprised. I was driving into the wind on a paved climb and figured he would maybe take a pull next.....but I dropped him. As I was riding my own pace I just kept going.

I finally hit the Jessup Road climb. Worse than I imagined. lol. I climbed as far as I could and had to get off for a walk. My feet were starting to hurt, so it was good timing. The hill was steeper and longer than I thought it would be. It wasn't a very fun walk either....riding would have been better....but I it was time for a walk. I had caught a guy towards the bottom, but he cleared the climb and made a gap again. 

I settled back into my pace knowing the first farm section was coming soon. Around mile 40 I had caught that guy again. We made the turn into the first farm section right into a sandy 2-track. I heard "what the fuck!?!?" and it was my thoughts exactly. lol. He pointed out the grassy section on the side and we managed to get into some sort of rhythm. This wasn't even the worst part....but the 2-track was pretty long and it was very sandy. Then we kicked off the track into the woods and a bumpy grassy section before getting back onto normal gravel. Not a great section for me, but I made it thru unscathed. 

The next section of gravel was awful. It was pure washboard for what seemed like miles. I honestly don't know because I was so crosseyed from all the bumps. I was on the right side, the left side, back to the right, down the middle, left side again, right middle...middle...left....all the way to the right. There simply wasn't a good line anywhere. It sucked. But I made it....and managed to leave the guy that had been riding with me. I reached the second section of farm. The first part wasn't terrible. Sandy and rocky farm road leading into the woods. Then it was quiet and peaceful in the shadowed woods. Worst part....I thought I was back on my mtb and didn't plan for the abuse I would take. There were a few roots and rocks and I forgot I was on a full rigid carbon cross bike. I took a few hard hits and then remembered to right was I describe as "lite" on the bike. The trees gave way to the last section of open farm. This section was absolutely awful. I had heard horror stories, but riding it was so much more real. I wanted to walk....I wanted to stop. But I just put my head down and kept pushing the pedals slowly taking a total beating across the field. I finally got to the barn and managed to clear the entire section before hitting the gravel. Brutal. 

Took me a few minutes to get settled back into my pace. With about 15 miles to go I had to keep pushing to the line. I got to the point where the signs said "2nd time" with the arrows and I remembered another jaunt up Welch Wall. By now, 54ish miles in, I was slowing down and my feet were killing me. I rode part of the way up and just decided to walk and give my feet a break from pedaling. I got to the top and I got back on to finish the course.

One last farm section. I actually reached it before I thought I would. I made the right into the farm and about lost it in the big rocks. It wasn't gravel. It was big chunky loose rocks that they had laid for their driveway. Perfect for cars, hard for bikes with skinny tires. Thankfully it was pretty short and I was in the grass. This time the grass was smoother. The grass gave way to the woods and a fast trail thru. It was pretty fun for while it lasted before I kicked out onto the Fred Meijer trail again. This time it was peat gravel and it was just a nice calm part of the ride. Getting closer to the finish. One more left and back onto the gravel for the home stretch back into Ionia. 

I thought it was flat the entire way back. But there was one more kicker that snuck up on me. With 2 volunteers directing traffic at the top I didn't want to walk. So I stood and climbed until I reached the top. They cheered and said good job, letting me know it was only 3 miles to go. It was all paved....but I was running out of gas. A little false flat and I finally saw the pavement give way to brick...knowing I was almost there. As I rolled into the finish area all I could do was laugh. The barriers were being taken down and there were only a handful of people. Ghost Town. Everyone was over at the brewery around the corner for the awards and food. Done and dusted. Not last. 

I slow rolled to my car and just sat and relaxed for a while. I had done it. While I didn't clip my soft goal....I was only 11 minutes away from it. I took 5th out of 7 in my category. 138th out of 154 in the Men's category. Not a bad day. 

As this was my final test before Lumberjack I am very happy with how the race went. I started and finished exactly how I wanted I wanted. I felt solid the whole race. Yes, I was getting tired, but this is a long event that gets harder as you go. Most events do, but you add in those farm sections and you have to save some energy. At that 45 mile mark in Dirty Donut I was suffering. Here I was able to push thru a nasty field and keep going thru the entire race....slow or not. Making sure that I was getting my calories in was important and worked for this race. Mentally I was also in a good place. I enjoyed the ride and the struggle versus letting a tough section of gravel or a nasty climb get into my head and shutting me down. Win. 

Overall it was a good day. I felt wrecked when I got finished...just like I should have been. I was able to build my confidence in a race scenario with both my mental toughness and my nutrition plan. In just a few days I have my major goal for 2023 on the schedule. I will have an in-depth post on that later. For now, I am happy with my day and ready for the next challenge. 

Thank you to the promoters for the Cow Pie Classic for a fun event. Thank you to all the volunteers for your support. 

Keep moving forward!

Cow Pie Classic Preview

 One final test before Lumberjack. 

I have never done this race before. It is a relatively new event with the first edition landing in 2019 before all of the covid drama. They have different distance options ranging from 66 miles (Long haul) to 34 miles (short haul) down to 10 miles and something called the Big Sh*t EX adventure that is 365km and seems like its own creature. 

I am opting for the Long Haul edition for 2023. This is my last long training ride before Lumberjack. I was waffling with dropping down the distance so save my legs. I probably still can, but I missed the transfer time online. So....66 miles it is. Everyone says 66, but the links all show just over 63. Maybe there was a change that made it a bit shorter.

I have watched a few videos and learned as much as I can about the event. Overall it looks like a really fun event and I haven't heard anything negative. Most people talk about the farm sections. Yes...farm sections. Much like Barry Roubaix includes Shaw and Sager roads for added misery, Cow Pie has some unique sections that are only rideable on race day. 

It looks like at about 43ish miles there is a farm section that is about a mile long. I am under the impression that this section is new for 2023. These are really all guesses on my part. 

Around 48 miles in there is another section. This one is longer at around 2 miles long. There is plenty of footage of this section. The majority of it looks great with some 'singletrack' style riding in the woods. The last segment looks pretty tough with a super bumpy grass section.....in an old cow pasture. 

The last farm section looks to be about 1/2 mile long. It looks like a grassy section and a bomb downhill before spitting out onto the Fred-Meyer-Clinton-Ionia-Shiawassee-Trail. Say that three times fast. This is a short section of rail trail along the Grand River. From here a short jaunt over to Smokey Row and its a straight run into the finish. 

The farm sections aside...there are 2 major climbs that seemed to catch the attention of the riders on the videos I have watched. First is affectionally referred to as The Welch Wall. It looks like a relatively short .22 mile segment with a 6.7% average grade. Tough, short and steep. Doesn't seem terrible when you look at it being only 4 miles in. I should be warmed up and comfortable by this point. Won't be easy, but not the worst. The Wall in Barry Roubaix is shorter and averages 11.7% grade. Sheesh. The problem here, we have to ride it again 50 miles later. When the legs are tired from the farm sections the course loops back into this section for another attempt. It will be interesting to compare times to see just how much fatigue has set in at this point. 

The second climb that garners attention is 'Up Jessup'. This is a .32 mile segment averaging 5.7%. Again not the worst....but not easy by any stretch of the imagination. It comes around 32ish miles in. Hearing the comments makes me think that it will be tough regardless. 

This will not be an easy event. At around 40 feet of climbing per mile it is fairly flat....but so was Dirty Donut and was far from easy. The tougher part of this event will be the farm sections I mentioned above. While they are all rideable, they will throw some punches for sure. For me it will be surviving these sections and recovering between them. There are decent distances between each of the sections. 10 miles between Jessup and the 1st farm section. Around 5 miles between the 1st and 2nd farm sections. Another 4 from the farm to the last attempt at Welch Wall. Then another 4 miles from there to the last farm section. Enough time to get into rhythm again. 

There is even a Clydesdale class for me! There are 10 fellow clydes registered so that will be a decent group. TOP 10 finish! haha. I know a few of them and it will be a good time for sure!

So what about a goal? 

Well....this is an odd one for me. Do I use the facts from the last few events and set an achievable goal? Or do I go with what I believe and put a goal in place that falls in line with what my last ones have been? Having the understanding that my nutrition failed me at Dirty Donut...I am going into this event better prepared. Mentally I will be prepared for a slower jaunt around Ionia. Temps look to be closer to 80 than 90. Canada air will try to kill me, but at the lower levels I should be ok. Will just tap that inhaler before the start. 

I am setting my distance at the 63 miles for these goals. I would love to say that 4:30 is my stretch goal. Ideally I will finish around that time. Realistically I will shoot for Sub 5 hours as a hard goal. I hope to be closer to the 4:30, but I will take anything sub 5 hours. 

Lets see what happens. 

Its all about the climb.....

If you read my last post, Thank you. If you commented, Thank you again. If you didn't, no worries. 

I simply gave a glimpse into how I think. We all have our struggles and sometimes they hit differently on different day or different situations. Prime example was on a holiday morning last year. We had music playing and a song I love called 'Let it go' by James Bay came across Pandora. (You can give a listen below if you like). The song struck me during my separation and divorce back in 2018/2019. Last year when the song played I broke down. For some reason after 4 years it hit me a little differently. The lyrics talk about things turning bad, why are we fighting for this, and eventually letting go. 

Let it go.....just let it be.....why don't you be you...and I'll be me....

I posted what I posted yesterday because I believe mental health is important for everyone. Its ok to have those days where you just don't feel like it. We all have our doubts. The important thing is to keep moving forward and not get hung up in those areas. I didn't set out to do that long post, but I just kept going and eventually had some realizations. These realizations will help me move past how I was feeling yesterday and not get stuck in that rut....where I am defeating myself before I even get started.

I won't get into the phycology of it all....just know its important. 

So that leads me to another song. Its "The climb" by Miley Cyrus. I remember heading to races with the whole fam singing this at the top of our lungs. lol. Good times. Beyond the car karaoke the song does have good meaning....and it was before Miley came in like a wrecking ball. 

 

The lyrics here have good meaning too. She touches on facing struggles and not breaking. Its not about the destination....its about the climb. This song has always been good. Just keep moving on. Don't break. You can do it!

Just wanted everyone to know that I am down, but not out. That race Saturday was brutal. I know I wasn't the only one that struggled. I did struggle...and I finished. I don't know exact numbers...but I imagine it was a hefty number of people that just gave up. I have given up before. Barry Roubaix I was a train wreck. But I moved past that and had some better results. The Donut wasn't an awful result...it was a finish....and mental test. That is why I am doing all of these events leading into the single 'A' race I am doing this season. So while I know I struggled and that yesterday was a down day mentally, I am doing much better today. If I let myself stay where I was yesterday and I just let it fester I would already be defeating myself. 

Do I have nerves? Of course. Do I have some doubts about 100 miles? Yes. Am I going to try anyway? Damn straight. 

When I signed up for LJ100 I knew it was a stretch. As the money left my account my mind wandered to whether it was actually a good idea. HAHA. I had a couple of friends beat around the bush a bit and say it wasn't the best idea. But my philosophy has been "go big or stay home" when I am signing up for these events. Dirty 30.....50 miles. Barry...62. Donut...60. Hanson Hills 50...perfect. CowPie Classic...63. The reason I signed up for all of these has been specifically for training for LJ100. I am learning more every time...no matter what. 

So what have I learned? 

Dirty 30

I learned to be better prepared. I rode the entire race with no nutrition.....50 miles. Whoops. 

Barry Roubaix

I took a mental hit at this event. I allowed my mental state to shut down my body instead of having my brain make my body keep going. Tough, but still a learning opportunity.

Yankee Springs Time Trial

Here I learned to push push push. But the people passing was a frustration that started to get to me some. 

Fort Custer Stampede

This was my most complete race. Mentally prepared....rode strong the whole thing. Home course knowledge helped. Win.

Hanson Hills 50

I had a major victory by making the cutoff time. I also crushed my goal time by 20 minutes. Nutrition was solid. Bike had an issue....and that wore on me mentally....but overall it was a good race.

Dirty Donut

Finished with 60 miles. Nutrition was less than stellar and it showed. I don't function well in heat. Mentally was kind of a mixed bag. Watching the peloton ride away was disheartening, but pushing as much as I could all the way to the end was a good side of the mental battle. 

CowPie Classic

We will see what I will learn here. Still waffling on the distance here. Being a week before LJ100 I don't really need to ride long distance. But, I do want to test nutrition again. More on this race later this week. 

Lumberjack 100

I find out if it all comes together....

Its all about the climb.....

Confidence is waning.....

 

I am all over the place lately. Fort Custer Stampede I rode strong. Hanson Hills 50 I started strong, and tanked the second lap. This past Saturday at The Dirty Donut I had 30 solid miles before the issues started to arise and I struggled the whole second half. Yes, solid efforts. Yes I am riding stronger than I have been. But I am questioning my endurance. 

Custer was strong because it was short. Hanson I hit that 30 mile mark and started to waver. I was having some bike issues that were mentally drilling me, but I dropped 30 minutes from first lap to second lap. Saturday it was like a switch at 30 miles. My mind wanted to go, but mentally I couldn't push any harder. 

With Lumberjack in less than 2 weeks I feel like my confidence is going in the wrong direction. I have started to question my sanity on making the decision to sign up again knowing I barely rode in 2022....added to a lower mileage post covid 2021 when I was actually riding decent. If my endurance is only allowing me to ride hard for 30ish miles I really don't know what I am going to do for 100. I believe I can do it...because I have done it before. However, I am believing less and less the closer the LJ100 gets. 

The image above really jumped out to me today. I have that piece of paper in my hand and I can't find the scissors. My self-doubt has always been an issue for me. I wander back and forth between being a confident rider and telling myself that someone my size has no reason to even try to ride bikes. Negative self talk is beyond reason for me. Barry Roubaix took me to that dark place not too long ago. I was grateful that Chris talked me out of it...and I haven't been there since. That doesn't mean those thoughts are not standing outside the door waiting for me. Or maybe a better analogy is that they are waiting in the shadows and they are ready to attack me like the boogey man.

I waffle back and forth to whether riding is fun or more of a chore. For my health it has been great. For my mental health a bike ride always helps. But a ride..not a race. Its a kick in the teeth for me to watch people in jean shorts, tennis shoes, and t-shirts go blasting past me like I am sitting still. I know I shouldn't compare myself to anyone....but I have been riding a long time and being honest...I am just fucking slow. The start of Dirty Donut I got dumped before we even left the school grounds. How? How can I ride 60 miles but just be like a fright train. Sure I will get there someday....but I am carrying enough supplies to feed a large village in the middle of nowhere. Those people will be glad to see me, but they will be like "what took you so long?". When I have friends that barely ride that blast away like a bullet train and are home, showered, and spending time with their families when I am 10 miles from the finish. 

I literally got a text asking me where I was when I was still that far from the end. Nobody was left on the course but me....other than some donut eating people. I was pretty much alone with my thoughts. Those thoughts continue to build until I start to question my judgement on what I am actually doing. I think of the line in 'V for Vendetta' when she asks V "are you like a crazy person?". Honestly....I have to have some wires crossed to attempt the stuff that I attempt. When I signed up for Lumberjack I was literally over 300 pounds. What crazy idiot thinks that is a good idea? This one apparently. 

I do feel like this could go either way right now. I have people in my corner. Asking me how things are going. Keeping me on track. Watching my training. I don't know what all of them believe...whether I can finish this major goal or not. I know they are cheering for me. Is that enough? I know I don't want to let people down.....but letting them down is less important than letting myself down. Its not like I am gonna just bail and not try it. But with a cutoff time looming I do have concerns. 

This quote is on my wall right next to my desk. I have not reached my goals. I have reached others. This last one was a pretty major miss in my eyes. I have a list of excuses as long as Rapunzel's hair that I can rattle off for what I believe was the reason on Saturday. Wanna hear what I try to tell myself?

1. It was hot. Yes, temps sucked but everyone was riding in it.

2. The gravel wasn't the greatest. Yes, but everyone was riding in it.

3. I didn't have enough caloric intake. Yes I know this was a minor issue but not a root cause.

4. My feet started to hurt. This one is legit...but why...its never been an issue before. 

5. The gopro died. It distracted me from my race foucs.

6. There was nobody around.....where did everyone go? Maybe I missed a turn

7. The bike wasn't shifting the best

8. almost crashed 4 miles in....so my corners were nervous

9. Nobody was at the aid stations...

10. the bottled water was warm

11. the headwind

12. my deraileur cable was scratching my leg

13. some dickhead in a Telsa was too busy gawking that I nearly broadsided his car...

14. had to stop for that car....

15. an oncoming car almost wiped me out because another ride was standing right in the middle of the road at the last aid station

16. The baseball players were crossing the road at the finish area....

17. Maybe it was the ice cream I ate when I was 10.....

I can stretch it to anything. At the end of the day....my performance was just not what I wanted it to be. Yes the heat was a factor...I am a 260 pound guy. But all those other factors don't matter. Everyone rode the same gravel in the same heat with the same conditions. First place was over 2 hours ahead of me. Literally the were probably already home and showered before I finished....and they live over an hour away from the race venue. Its stupid. But yes....carrying between 60 and 80 extra pounds around is likely why I am 10mph slower (on average) than the winner. And that is nobody's fault but my own. I doubt anyone reading this knew me when I was 180. That was almost 24 years ago. It has been many years of self destruction with food. Only this year have I managed to get my eating under control and drop to my current weight. I am the lightest I have been since 2015....which ironically enough was the last time I did LJ100.

This quote is also on my wall. I came across it one day and had to get it...because I believe it hit me at the right time. That bullshit story is a book of excuses for every situation in our lives. I can justify anything I do. Example, I can eat this apple pie because the carbs will be good for me at the race. Or, I can have this ramen because I am hungry and am tired of eating vegetables. Stupid shit like that is how I ended up tipping the scale at over 300lbs. So when I ran across this quote I knew I had to put it on my wall. Its a reminder that I will never get where I want to be as long as I lie to myself. Its a 'pull your head out of your ass' type of thing. Tired of the sanity of repeating the same thing over and over and not getting anywhere. Thankfully with all of this my eating has been good. A little cheat here and there, but still consistent losses for most weeks. 

Its the mental side that is taking a beating again. The oppressive nature of the "never be good enough" that was hammered into me a kid just comes around when I feel like this. Actually just had that realization a few minutes ago. Dropped 45 pounds....been riding more.....still not good enough. And that is likely why I am struggling. Childhood bullshit. But....that was a long time ago and I know I can move past it. However...a memory just crept in from my first ever cross country 5k race I did when I was in high school. I trained. I ran with my step-dad. We peaked for the race. I was confident until the race started and I watched the entire group (other than one guy) run around the corner and disappear. I came in 2nd to last. Confidence blown.....and I have barely done any running since. I was maybe 15. So sitting here typing this I had a little break thru as to why that situation bothers me. Feeling like no matter what I do it isn't good enough and being bothered by watching the pack run (or ride away) is deep rooted. Damn. 

That leads me to the image below. I am always harder on myself than anyone ever could be. Likely a side-effect of 'not good enough' mentality I was raised with. Even though I was the most athletic and legit smartest person in the house at the age of 17. An no, not kidding. My parents couldn't help me with my high school work even though they were both college educated. And I was beating both of them in golf, swimming, a better water skier, better runner, baseball, horseshoes or fucking yard jarts. Remember those....I can't believe we never took an eye out. But because of that they pushed me to be better and their thoughts were that it wasn't good enough. #2 varsity golfer as a senior....why not 1st? Took 8th in a tournament....why not top 5? Got a spike deer.....why didn't you get the 8 point? I promise you, it was never good enough and I don't fully understand why. 

Just know that I fight with the person I see in the mirror every day. Some days I win, some days I lose. 

Dirty Donut Race Recap

 Lets have some donuts!

Actually...none for me thanks. While the appeal of taking 5 minutes off of my time with every donut is there....doing so while riding hard just doesn't work for me. As awful as I felt without donuts....I would have been miserable with the donuts. 

The 61 milers lined up for the 8am start. I was chatting with a few friends and was pretty relaxed. The air was already feeling heavy even with temps in the mid 60's. It was time to go. We rolled out of Martin High School and onto the main road. My plan was to hold onto the group as long as I could. Turns out it was about half a mile. I found myself riding alone almost right away. 

I settled into my pace knowing I had 60 hot miles ahead of me. First few miles were pretty quiet. I did almost wash out on a corner, but thankfully was able to save it. I tried to find people to ride with but the group was spread out already. The first donut station was coming and the people that were around me all peeled off to shorten their times. The hilly section started here. They are not terrible climbs and I was holding a decent average speed still.

I was coming to an intersection and saw a rider turn off. I hesitated for a minute because my Elemnt told me to go straight and there were no signs showing otherwise. I went straight thinking a rider was up ahead. When I crested the hill there was no rider and I panicked a bit. But then I saw a sign calling out a turn and was still on course. A rider caught me and pulled me towards Hopkins. The gravel gave way to pavement and the 2nd donut stop. I heard some "whoo whoos" as I passed. lol. I waved and pressed on. This pavement section was much appreciated. Especially when the next gravel section hit. It was loose and dry. Was rough to pedal in. And this is where my race started to change.

I hit the 30 mile mark and was well above my planned average. I started to have delusions of grandeur that I was going to break 4 hours. That was short lived. It didn't take long for that to change. My average speed started to decline very rapidly. I went from 4 hours, to clipping my goal time, to worrying if I would break 5 hours. Mentally I was ok. The heat was catching up to me. The gravel sucked. My feet started to hurt. The wheels started coming off and I couldn't do anything about it. 

I pressed on and watched my average speed continue to drop. 20 miles to go. Then 10. I would see some riders now and then. Even caught a few people. Saw one guy stopped and sitting on his top tube with his head on his handlebars. He was gassed. Still have 15 to go. Another guy stopped and was working out his cramps. I was grateful to just be riding at this point.

I made the final turn towards the high school and was truly just ready to be done. I had just passed a handful of people at the last donut stop...still hard to believe they were eating. I finally crossed the finish line in a time of 4:41. Terrible.....DFL. But I finished. I averaged 15 the first 30...and 11 the last 30. Combo of everything added up to a very long day on the bike for me. 

I will take the finish. I will take the training. I am glad I passed on donuts. 

Thank you to the Dirty Donut promoters and all of the volunteers for all of your hard work. Not disappointed I competed, just not happy with my results. Wanted an improvement and was actually slower than I was in 2021. It happens. 

Next up is Cow Pie. More on that later. Then the big one...Lumberjack 100. I am getting more nervous because I just don't know how I will do. Confidence is wavering. More to come on this too. Keep moving forward friends!

Dirty Donut Preview

 Great...another preview....

I am not sue if people like these or not....but I know from my experience that if I have another rider's perspective going into an event that I generally feel a bit better. I actually used to reach out to complete strangers (facebook friends) and ask them for their cliff notes on courses or events. Most were friendly and would give me some idea of what was going to happen. Others would just not respond. Life. lol.

So next up for me is the Dirty Donut just down the road from me in Martin, MI. I am doing one last pre-ride on the short course tonight to test my setup. Its gonna be hot, so it should be an interesting ride. I also want to check out the gravel conditions. It has been dry here for weeks so it could be dusty and loose gravel for 60 miles on Saturday.  (EDIT: it started to downpour after I typed this)

This is probably the flattest gravel race of the year for me. The 60 mile course has roughly 37 feet of climbing per mile. Compare that to the nearly 77 feet per mile in Barry Roubaix and this race is flat. Add in that about 45% is pavement and its even faster yet. 

The draw for this race is the donut eating side of things. I won't be partaking in the Donut contest. For those that choose to do so they get a full 5 minutes taken off of their time! This means if they make the Dirty Dozen Club (12 donuts) that their time drops by a whopping HOUR! That is a crazy amount of time. There are rules of course...lol. They witness you eat them for starters. And you can't toss your donuts along the way and still get time for them. Interesting....but not for me. lol. I remember in 2021 watching the people at the last donut station forcing them down and wondering how they were no hurling. Still, people seem to have fun doing this....lol. More power to them! 

Weird rain cloud...poured for 15 minutes and the sun came back out. lol. I headed out on the 22 mile route from Allegan. I picked up the course where on the left of the image where the cross is. 

Overall the gravel is a decent mix. There is some hard pack that is smooth. Some of the hard pack is rough. There are sections that are loose and chunky. And there are some areas where its just normal gravel. Don't always aim for the smooth looking hard packed areas. Sometimes the looser areas are a bit smoother and faster than the hard pack. 

I know the 22 mile course very well. But I am doing the 60 tomorrow so it will be a different deal. More miles, more climbing, and unknown conditions. Weather Channel is calling for Northeasterly or East Northeasterly winds tomorrow, but under 10mph. So it shouldn't be a factor and it might actually help on the way back to Martin. 

Ride with GPS doesn't accurately show the elevation gain. My Strava (for what its worth) shows about 2200ft on the 60 mile course. I know mot of the roads leading into Hopkins (where the middle I is in the image above). After that I will not have that knowledge but I will just pedal away.

My goal is to try to stay with the main group as long as I can. Not being a climber I am hoping I can hang on until around mile 12 where the section has some rollers. I will get dumped here for sure, but hopefully I will have a few people to work with until this point. 

I am happy with an 8am start time for this event for 2 reasons. First, I live 15 minutes from the start. So I don't have to be up stupid early to get there at a decent time. Second, its supposed to touch 90 degrees tomorrow. With that early start time I won't notice that I am being baked until the race is over. Should be Mid 60's at the start and likely well into the 80's at the finish. Plan on lots of water friends! 

So, goal time? Well....that is a good question. If you look at the route that I ride from home I have been fairly consistent (not fast....but consistent). A few things to note here....this is the shorter route...and it includes 10 miles more pavement when I ride from home. So a bit different than what the actual race will be. My fastest was perfect conditions in cooler weather. My slowest was nasty gravel and last night when it was pushing 90 degrees. I have shown steady improvement though, which is always my goal.

With the race being 60 miles and the higher temps I am going to aim for a finish time of sub 4:10 (average 14.5mph). Not fast, just steady for this distance. In 2021 when I did this race my time was 4:33 (average 13.4mph). So the plan is to be faster than I was last time here. Looking at my Dirty 30 time I averaged under 13mph over 50 miles. I am much stronger and lighter now.

No matter what, I will be out there doing what I can. Say Hi if you see me. Good luck to those that are racing! Keep the rubber side down!