Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Nothing to fear

.....yet I still seem to fear it. I am at the point yet again where I am staring a milestone right in the eye. I have been here before, in this exact spot, at least three times in the past two years. Something always seems to make me walk to the ledge.....get ready to jump....and turn around.

Fear?

Of what?

The unknown?

not really....I was here once before.....without really noticing. This time is different though....while it is the same path....it is completely in the opposite direction. Anyone that has read this blog for a short period of time knows that I have struggled with weight. Before my oldest daughter was born I was 190 pounds and fit. I was playing basketball 3-4 days a week and doing Tae-Bo on the other days. Say what you will....it works....it worked good. Then I broke my foot....and I shot from 190 to 217 in a matter of months. After that, started working in Indiana and shot all the way up to 250. Then, I stopped caring and shot up to 272 before I said enough was enough. I started the same struggle that any person trying to lose weight starts.....making changes...eating better....ect.

It has been a roller coaster for 3 years now. I dropped to 240, back to 250, back to 240, up to 260, back into the 240's and up again to nearly 270. Stop. This crap has to stop. So, Chelle and I started something different and it works, but I am own worst enemy. I lose 4 one week...gain 1 back the next. It has been more positive than negative, but until I eat right every day.....it will continue the way it has been.

But....progress is still being made. I am trending downward....back again to the cliff that is 240. I am looking for the edge........standing there....ready to jump. What is there to be afraid of? I have only been in the 230's once since I started the loss journey. It ended quickly with my weight shooting back up to 250.

Enough is enough. I am going to jump. Right now. On Monday my weight will start with 23 instead of 24 and I will do my best to never look back. Another hurdle. Another goal. Another step in the right direction. So I have nothing to fear.....and here we go....

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