Full circle

I looked at my weight numbers from this time last year. I was exactly the same weight that I was...all the way back up to 263 pounds again. At one point I was down to 239 pounds and feeling great. I gave up....stopped fighting the fight and started eating. I stopped riding. Stopped caring....frankly. The fight was still going on....but I stopped throwing punches back. So....that makes the circle complete. Every year I do the same thing....I start in the 260's....work my way down to the 240's or even 230's and then gradually creep back up to the 260's. This year was different because I felt it happening.....and I still let it happen. Why? Well.....I could list off a few excuses but it comes down to ONE: I am lazy.

I didn't feel like trying anymore and started finding reasons to not go for a ride....or reasons to eat an extra piece of pizza. Maybe there is more to the whole S.A.D. thing that what I actually realized...until now. Seasonal affliction disorder (S.A.D.) is a very real thing. Simply stated is is depression from the change in the seasons. I was doing okay before a family cruise at the end of September, but when we got home to Michigan it was 40 degrees colder than it was in Florida. I think that is when it started. Within a week I found an excuse to not ride. Within 3 weeks I sold off my Iceman entry. A few weeks after that I had a discussion with a teammate about S.A.D. and that is when it clicked with me that I am definitely a candidate. So now......I need to just do something about it.

Two weeks ago I made the trip to Fort Custer and rode about 18 miles with Dan S.  The ride was pretty good....just slow from lack of riding. No worries though.....Dan is a good friend and knows that I just need to ride....fast or slow. So, we headed out again this past Sunday up to Luton and Merrell. The ride was a lot of fun....but I could feel that I wasn't enjoying it as much as I should have been. The reason was....I was slow. A few months ago I rode these trails and felt amazing. Sunday, I was struggling up the hills....but Dan was still waiting for me and encouraging me to just keep spinning them out.

These last few rides prompted some inner searching.....searching for that guy that was 239 only a few short months ago. He is here.....he knows what he has to do.....and now he has to do it.