Still your fault

A year has passed since we said good-bye. A lot of stuff has happened in this past year. Holidays were a little sadder without your smiling face. Not as many silly jokes at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Just that slight sadness in the air from you not being here. We did have some fun though. We took a vacation just like we promised....taking the kids on a cruise to Mexico, Belize and Honduras. The kids had a blast and we tried our best to never tell them "no" on this trip. We wanted them to remember it as a very special trip. You know that though....because Chelle and I both know that you were there. Your unmistakable smell surrounded us as we were waiting in line one day.....announcing your presence as if you tapped us on the shoulder. It was quiet for a while after that trip. Every now and then Zoe would cry that she missed you. I would think about how you introduced me to your beautiful daughter. The other kids would say they missed the funny things you would say.

Thanksgiving was hardest on Chelle. She was remembering the bad parts of this whole thing and it was making her very sad. We did our best to cheer her up by reminding her that you are not feeling any pain now....that you are watching over us and keeping us safe. Then Christmas came on Tuesday....and on our trip home from my Dad's house we were listening to music when Chelle said "if that song about the boy buying shoes for his mom comes on....change the channel....I won't be able to handle it".....but it never did. As we rolled to a stop at the last light before our house "Wonderful world" started quietly on the radio. I flinched for a second....but hesitated long enough for the words to start as I turned to you lovely daughter...who had tears falling down her cheek. We pulled into the driveway as the song ended and we knew you were thinking of us. People can believe what they want but this was no coincidence....you were letting us know that you were there......and that you are alright.

I still blame you, ya know. For this whole thing. It was an honor to be your son-n-law and I am proud to claim as such. Thank you for introducing me to your pride and joy and for sharing so many memorable moments in our lives. We miss you sir.....